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Et tout à coup, un vide immense </span>
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<p>Nicole a 55 ans, son « petit dernier » vient de partir en coloc. <br />Lui qui prenait encore tellement de place dans son emploi du temps, sa maison, ses pensées, sa vie. Son « bébé » est parti. Elle n’a pas vu venir ce qui se passe là maintenant. <br />A présent le nid est vide, comment va-t-elle continuer sa vie qui n’a plus vraiment le même goût ?</p> </div>
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<p>Biensûr, il y a d’abord eu l’unif avec les semaines en kots mais là, les enfants revenaient encore le weekend et elle pouvait leur préparer des petits plats pour la semaine et faire la lessive, elle était encore utile et elle n’avait pas encore vraiment conscience qu’un jour, cela s’arrêterait.</p><p>Evidemment, elle savait bien qu’il ne resterait pas indéfiniment, qu’il s’envolerait, lui aussi comme ses sœurs, qu’il voudrait voir d’autres horizons. Même s’il n’a pas eu l’envie de partir à l’autre bout de la terre comme tant de ses potes l’ont fait, il est parti à l’autre bout de la ville et c’est déjà tellement loin.</p><p>Nicole se sent perdue, elle n’a plus de repères, plus de sens. « Qu’est-ce que je vais faire maintenant ? Je sers à quoi ? Comment je vais bien pouvoir occuper mon temps ? » se dit-elle. Déjà qu’au boulot, ce n’est pas le grand fun alors à présent, elle se sent terriblement seule, triste et inutile. Comment regarder demain sans angoisse. Pas vraiment facile de voir le positif et d’avoir le sourire. </p><p>Et pourtant, avec un peu de recul, il est possible de voir les choses autrement.</p><h2>Une transition délicate pour une femme, une mère</h2><p>La transition du Nid vide est une des transitions dont on parle peu mais qui est très délicate à traverser pour une femme, pour une mère. S’il y a un avant et un après la naissance du premier enfant, il y a certainement aussi un avant et un après le départ du dernier de la maison. C’est une étape bousculante, une nouvelle vie qui s’ouvre à un moment où il y a déjà d’autre bouleversements à surmonter : la ménopause et ses tempêtes émotionnelles, la fin de carrière qui se profile et la vision de la retraite au bout.</p><p>Les enfants, de leur côté ne perçoivent pas les dégâts potentiels, tellement heureux de voler de leurs propres ailes, enfin et préoccupés par leur propre existence à créer. Ils prennent leur temps, sont souvent déjà bien mûrs pour s’en aller avec cette envie de pouvoir enfin vivre leur propre vie, leurs propres règles.</p><p>Pas simple de comprendre cette soif d’indépendance pour une mère qui a souvent tout donner, beaucoup sacrifié.</p><h2>Un nouveau départ</h2><p>Et pourtant, quelle belle opportunité que ce nouveau « départ » : un temps à imaginer, de l’espace dans la maison à aménager, de l’attention à s’accorder. Tant de choses ont été enfuies profondément pendant toutes ces années parce qu’il était important d’être là pour la famille, présente, disponible pour que tout soit parfait, pour que personne ne manque de rien dans la maison. A présent, tout est possible, le champ est libre, les portes s’ouvrent et il ne reste plus qu’à imaginer.</p><h2>Reprendre contact avec soi</h2><p>Dans ce type de transition inévitable, il est nécessaire de prendre le temps sans brûler les étapes. Le départ d’un enfant est un deuil en quelques sorte. Deuil de la vie d’avant, en famille, de cette relation proche qui existait sans en avoir toujours conscience. Maintenant qu’elle n’est plus, l’absence peut mettre la personne qui reste dans un état de grande solitude. Il est nécessaire de prendre le temps de s’écouter, d’accueillir les émotions qui sont là en nous et surtout d’en prendre soin. Il n’y a pas de bon timing, de recette miracle pour cette transition que chacun vivra à son propre rythme avec sa sensibilité.</p><p>Après avoir pris ce moment pour intégrer le changement et ses effets, après s’être remise de ses émotions, vient le temps de se retrouver avec soi. Et là, les questions se bousculent, parfois dans le désordre : Oui mais qu’est-ce que je peux faire ? Par où commencer ? Qu’est-ce que j’ai envie de faire de tout ce temps ? Qu’est-ce que j’aime faire ? Qu’est-ce que je sais faire ? Est-ce que j’en suis capable ? Est-ce que ce n’est pas complètement fou d’envisager ça ? Autant de questions que Nicole et toutes les autres finissent par se poser et celles-ci peuvent tourner en boucle et rester longtemps sans réponse.</p><h2>Prendre le temps de se faire accompagner dans ce passage délicat</h2><p>Pour sortir de cette spirale du mental et trouver des pistes de réponses à toutes ces questions et à bien d’autres, il est important de ne pas rester seule et d’envisager d’aller chercher quelqu’un pour traverser ce passage délicat. </p><p>L’accompagnement de transition donne un espace à celles qui, comme Nicole, se trouvent à un carrefour de leur vie. Cette démarche permet de s’arrêter, de clarifier ses désirs, de regarder les choses sous un angle de vue différent, de trouver soi-même les réponses à ses questions. La personne est soutenue dans sa démarche par une autre personne bienveillante qui est là juste pour lui permettre de voir son plein potentiel, ses nombreuses ressources insoupçonnées, de dépasser ses freins et ses peurs de demain, de prendre conscience de ce qu’elle désire vraiment réaliser dans cette nouvelle période de sa vie.</p><p>Peu à peu, l’horizon s’éclaircit. Envisager la mise en place de nouvelles activités pour se faire du bien ou mieux se connaître, prendre le temps de découvrir de nouveaux univers, développer un talent bien caché et qui ne demande qu’à s’exprimer, se consacrer à une cause qui tient à cœur et qui a du sens, réaliser un rêve gardé secret depuis l’enfance. Il y a tellement de pistes à explorer, la difficulté est de se donner le temps d’y réfléchir et la permission de croire que c’est possible.</p><p>« Gardez des espaces dans votre cœur pour l’inimaginable » disait Mary Oliver. Ce sont des moments difficiles comme celui du nid vide qui permettent de prendre pleinement conscience de notre propre potentiel, de la beauté de la vie et de la formidable personne que nous sommes.</p><h2>Une pause, tout en douceur pour mieux repartir</h2><p>Si vous vous retrouvez dans ces lignes, si comme Nicole, vous vous sentez à ce moment de votre vie où vous avez besoin de regarder où vous en êtes, de prendre enfin soin de vous, de construire un demain moins angoissant, alors accordez-vous cette pause pour vous, rien que pour vous. Donnez-vous la permission de vous retrouver vous-même et de repartir avec un élan et une énergie nouvelle.</p><p>Nous vous accueillerons le temps nécessaire et en toute bienveillance pour vous permettre de vous déposer et vous reposer d’une part et si vous en avez l’envie, nous pourrons vous accompagner avec des outils de coaching qui feront appel à votre créativité et à votre sensibilité. Le journal créatif et le cheval seront vos compagnons pour trouver en vous l’élan nécessaire pour repartir ressourcé(e), reposé(e) et reconnecté(e) à vous-même.</p><p>Envie d’en savoir plus et de tenter l’aventure, allez faire un tour sur notre site pour nous découvrir et laissez-nous un message sur la page Contact ou envoyez-nous un mail à bonjour@unepauseendouceur.com. Nous serons ravis d’en parler avec vous.</p> </div>
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